it's not pee!

I love how my cat will disappear for a while and then come back strangely wet all over his body. How does this happen? At first, I was afraid that he had somehow managed to roll around in his pee. Thankfully, that's not the case. He just likes to use his water bowl like a bird bath. What a freak.

I've been having some bizarre dreams lately. I don't know what could've brought them on, because I've just been watching Ken Burns documentaries and taking pictures of my clothes. (Btw, that wardrobe project is taking longer than I thought. I've taken around 700 pictures and I'm still not done. Jesus, I have a lot of clothes.)

Boots just sleep farted. Right next to me on the bed. Unpleasant. I know dog farts are supposed to be bad, but his little kitten toots are fucking rank. I think it's the wet food. One time, I was lying down in bed and he walked over my chest, and I happened to see his butthole right when he farted in my face. It winked at me. Then came the awful odor, like he'd taken a tiny little shit right under my nose. It lingered. Disgusting.

Anyway, about the dreams. The other night, I had a dream that the world was going to end, so Ashley, Bobby, and I (along with some dream randos) were going to kill ourselves by jumping off a cliff in advance of the apocalypse. We were lining up to go, and Ashley and Bobby went, and I was next, but I wanted to call my Mom first. So I called, but it went to voicemail, and I thought, "I can't jump without talking to my Mom!" So I didn't jump, and the world didn't end. Then I felt bad that I didn't talk Ashley and Bobby out of it.

This morning, I woke up to a freaky mini-dream during the time between snooze alarms. It felt like it was set in the late-70s/early-80s. I drove up to this old ranch-style house and came up to this big, wooden front door that had a ton of locks and one of those sliding "what's the password?" peep-doors. I finally opened the door and walked in the foyer, which had dark wood panelling, and in front of me, there was another door (also locked) that presumably led to the rest of the house. To the right, there was a staircase leading to a basement, and I could see another door at the bottom (also locked), but this door was shaking in its frame, clearly being pushed against. Then there was this voice-over narration, like the whole scene was in a movie or something: "It took the twins three hours to escape." I immediately realized that I needed to GTFO, because "the twins" were behind that door and I knew they were going to kill me if they got to me. I tried to lock the front door again, but it wasn't working because I was freaking out, so I ran back to my car and tried to start the car, but I was fumbling with the keys and couldn't get the right key in the ignition. I turned around and there were these two girls, around 11 years old, wearing blue dresses, running toward the driver's side of the car. (Evil children really disturb me.) It was then that I had the horrible realization that my car had manual locks and all the doors were unlocked. And then I woke up.

I just discovered Wilfred on FX tonight. Favorite line: "Put your lipstick back in its case, Romeo." Get it? LIKE A DOG PENIS!

these dreams

I've been having some weird dreams lately. In one, I was chased (and subsequently caught) by a bear. I got a nasty scratch on my arm and was surprised that I didn't have my throat ripped out. Thank heaven for small miracles?

Then I had a dream within a dream (omg Inception) that made me wake up in a panic. So I'm going to Albuquerque to visit Ali for spring break (and then to Durango to see Lauren), but in my dream (Level 2), my plans had somehow changed such that I no longer had a direct flight from Dulles but was instead going through Minneapolis (and apparently to Alaska). Naturally, I neglected to pack anything, so I had to go around the airport buying all my stuff. Fortunately, there was a Uniqlo in the airport. (Ikr?) And I was traveling with this middle-aged guy and his five friends; I have no idea who any of them were, but I was relying on them to help me make my flight. At some point I woke up (into Level 1), thinking it was the Saturday after the day I was supposed to have left, and that the dream (from Level 2) had tricked me into thinking my plans had changed when they really hadn't, so I'd missed my flight. I spent the rest of the dream frantically calling United trying to get to Albuquerque. Then I woke up (in reality), all pissed at myself for about 10 seconds until I realized that my flight wasn't for another week. Hooray!

I also had a sad dream. I dreamed that Pa and I were going to a dinner party at Aunt Tina's (which is weird, because she isn't the type to host dinner parties, at all). But it wasn't at her house (which is now Granny's house), it was at someplace that looked like an old person's house. We were sitting around chatting and then it was time for dinner, so I went into the dining room, but Pa stayed behind. I came back to ask him why he wasn't having dinner, but then I realized that I was the only one who could see him or talk to him. Nobody else knew he was there, because he was dead in my dream too. I woke up and cried, because the dream reminded me of how much I miss Pa. Sometimes I still expect to see him at Granny's, which is ridiculous, because he's been gone for almost seven years.

Last night, I watched Infamous, so I dreamed about Truman Capote and Perry Smith. Unpleasant. But I'm totally obsessed with In Cold Blood now, so I'm sure I'll have a few more of those dreams.

i dreamed a dream

I ended up sleeping through Corporations this morning. Oops. See my previous post for why. In exchange for truancy, I had some bizarre dreams.

One of them that I only vaguely remember involved someone holding me in a bear hug while someone else rushed at me to presumably injure me, and I used some of my newly learned karate moves to get away. I felt pretty bad-ass.

A later dream that I remember more clearly was set at some kind of bizarre theme park, kind of like MGM, but with sets that you could go into that were lushly decorated. Anyway, I was there with my mom and Hadi, and we were wandering around, but there were a lot of random stabbings going on. It was kind of freaky. And then I stumbled upon a cache of baked goods in a little kitchen (next to a pool where fat people in wheelchairs were watching "Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken"--no idea where that came from), a whole bunch of brownies and eclairs and cakes, and I just stuffed my face. I thought (later) that maybe those had been made for someone else, but I didn't care. I ate a bunch and I made myself a doggie bag and took more with me. As a result, I am dying for brownies and cake. DYING. I'm thinking of going to Harris Teeter and buy a whole bunch of eclairs. Or go to Ben & Jerry's and get a brownie. Maybe both? The possibilities are endless. If only I didn't have shit to do preventing me from getting sweets immediately.

tgif bitches

I dreamed last night that I didn't get my application for the Kyudai LLM program in on time. It was very upsetting, since it felt very real. I also lived in some kind of crypt in a foreign city (Paris?) that was not fully covered from the elements. And I think elements of Jaws worked their way into the dream too, which I can't explain.

Then I woke up this morning thinking it was Saturday. Why did I think this? Because it was light outside when I woke up, and it's usually dark-ish, since I get up around 6:30 during the week. But then I realized it was not in fact Saturday, and rolled over to check the time. 8:00. Wtg, ass.

The problem was this: I like to play sudoku on my phone. However, when I play sudoku, it doesn't let my phone go to sleep. So if, for example, I'm lying in bed playing sudoku and fall asleep, the phone stays on and the battery eventually dies. The problem part comes in because my phone is also one of my alarms. I have a regular alarm, but my phone alarm tends to wake me up rather than incorporate itself into my dreams.

So last night, I fell asleep playing sudoku and my phone died. I must have also turned my other alarm off while trying to hit snooze. Thus the 8:00 wake-up. Didn't get to exercise or shower. Not a good way to start the day.

I got to work and my supervisor popped his head in to do the "how are you?" thing, to which I replied "Unphghaf," and explained my grumpies. He came back a few minutes later to say, "I have an answer for you. Starbucks." So we went to SB and all was right with the world.

My supervisor also bought some ice cream so the office could do a taste test between Ben & Jerry's Americone Dream and Haagen Daz's Caramel Cone. Having now tasted both, I can say that Caramel Cone is the superior ice cream. The caramel ice cream is nice and the chocolate-covered waffle cone pieces are crunchier. The caramel is equally delicious in both. Too bad Caramel Cone doesn't have a sweet celebrity endorsement deal with Stephen Colbert.

After a relatively slow day at work, I came back home and lounged by the pool for an hour or so. So nice. It wasn't as balls-hot as it was earlier in the day, and when I got too hot, I could just jump in the pool to cool off. Of course the pool water was about as warm as a bathtub, but it helped.

Now I'm chillin'. I'm going fishing tomorrow for the first time this summer (and for the first time in a few years), so I'm super excited. I hope I catch something! I don't even care if we keep it, I just want to catch a fish.

sexy dream, aborted

Let me tell you about my sexy dream I had last night. Well, almost had. *sigh*

It was like I was watching this action/spy movie, but also kind of in it. I was in this big room with a bunch of people, like a church social hall or something. And there was this priest there. A hot priest. He looked like a taller, less bulky Daniel Craig. YES. And he had tattoos, which normally isn't my thing, but it was super hot. And I kind of think that maybe he wasn't a real priest, just like a spy pretending to be one, but whatever. He was still wearing the outfit, which is all that matters.

Anyway, everybody got up to leave, but I kind of stuck around, because The Bourne Ultimatum was coming on, and I wanted to see it, because it's a great movie. But hot priest dude sees me still in there and gets a sexy look on his face. !!! The game is afoot! But I'm trying to play coy, and I don't want people to notice that me and the hot priest are missing, so I run into the bathroom to sort myself out. While in there, I think, "I kind of have to pee", but then I fucking woke up, because I really did have to pee! DAMN IT. Me and that hot priest were totally going to have sexy times, but my stupid bladder ruined it, like it does EVERY TIME.

I had another dream when I went back to sleep, but it wasn't a continuation, so it was useless.

FOILED AGAIN.

In other news, I went to Shingu with Cat today for a delicious curry lunch. It was so good. I love that place.

I also bought the new taiko game for DS. I was so excited to get home and play it. I am so pleased with my DS purchase. It was a worthy investment. Now I just have to get that little card that lets me download all those games for free. Hehe.

dinosaurs!

The new boss is so much better. Seriously. Not loud and obnoxious at all.

The enkai Tuesday night wasn't too bad. I didn't particularly enjoy the food, though the fruit was good. At least we were seated by Hamano-sensei. I like him. But apparently he got fired? Total bullshit. But he's still at the office, so maybe he meant they got rid of his old position and he had to move to another one? I don't really know.

I rented some movies the other night and have actually been watching them for a change. Last night, I watched Crimson Tide (I thought it was The Hunt for Red October, the covers look very similar, and they're both about subs, so it was cool), and now I'm watching Jurassic Park, which I haven't seen in years. I also rented and Independence Day and Raiders of the Lost Ark.

I had a dream about UCLA, Virginia, and Georgia playing hockey against each other, three teams playing one game. It was weird, but then I woke up and thought about how to make a three-team game logistically possible. I think, if there was a circular rink, divided into thirds, with a net in each third, it could work. Two defensemen to stay in each zone, and two forwards that can move to all three, plus goalies. That way you could have four-on-four in each zone. See? That's totally possible. Nobody steal my idea, plz.

I think I'm going to go to Virginia. Even though George Washington will give me $30,000 a year, and Virginia is only giving me $30,000 total, I think it will be better for me to live in Charlottesville than in DC. At least for the time I'm in school. It's a smaller city, so maybe fewer distractions? Definitely cheaper. And it's a really pretty campus. Not to mention that the average starting salary for lawyers going into private firms is $140,000, and there are Virginia grads at each of the top 100 firms in the country. So even though I will have about $100,000 in debt when I get out, as long as I don't screw around, I should be able to get a good job and pay it off in a reasonable amount of time.

It figures that Michelle and I plan a trip to Korea at the same time that the North is threatening to blow it up. I mean, they don't have nukes, but still, regular bombs are just as effective. I don't think they'll go through with it, since that would be beyond stupid. If anything, China will stop them, since a war across the border would mean even more bad press ahead of the Olympics. But we'll be watching the situation. I'd rather forfeit my plane fare than get caught in a war. We can just chill in Fuku instead.

I finished the zombie book I was reading. It was really great, and not super scary. Then I started reading Sense and Sensibility, and while I respect Jane Austen and the fact that she wrote lots of classics, I cannot say that I am thrilled with it. I think it's the writing style, it's too much to parse for pleasure-reading. I feel like I'm back in school reading Hanz Morgenthau or some German IR theory shit. I have some other books at the apartment that I might take to work instead, like To Kill a Mockingbird or one of the Murder, She Wrote novels. (I didn't know there were books of those until I found them in my apartment.) At least I feel like I'm doing something worthwhile when I'm reading at work, instead of just staring at the Internet. Plus, it's much better for my eyes.

Oh, and I got to drive a K-truck yesterday! It's one of the little snub-nosed trucks that are everywhere in Japan, usually driven by old men or people with farms. The story is that Catherine wanted to buy a new couch, so we went to Komeri and she bought it. Of course, a three-seater couch wouldn't fit in her car, so we asked if they had delivery. The guy said they did, so he called and asked how much it was. 5000 yen! What?! 2000 for the actual delivery, plus 3000 for two guys to carry it to the apartment. But they also had the option of loaning us a K-truck for up to an hour and a half (for FREE!), and we could just do the stuff ourselves. So we chose that option. Luckily, Drew happened to be circling the block and helped us get it up the stairs (it wasn't heavy, just unwieldy), and we got it from the store to her apartment in less than 15 minutes. Awesome.

sakura

The weather has been so nice lately. Finally. It went from being really cold to pleasantly mild while I was in Kagoshima, which was already pleasantly mild. Not a lot of in-between weather.

The sakura are blooming now, and pretty soon, Japanese people everywhere will be losing their shit to go sit under one and have a picnic. Ah, hanami. Maybe I'll go up to Konoue for that, since they allegedly have a ton of sakura. And it's in the middle of the mountains, so maybe not so many people?

I had a dream last night that I was in a weird flirty relationship with Nagase Tomoya (Ayumi's ex and all-around hottie), but he had confused me for some other white girl he'd seen in a production of Peter Pan several years prior, who I later met at a bus stop. I didn't want to tell him about the mix-up, as I was enjoying his company, but the girl seemed really nice, so I was torn. Even in my dreams, I can't have a boyfriend.

It appears that the other people in my section went out for drinks or something after work yesterday. The ALTs, of course, were not invited. Not that I would've gone if invited, but still. Jerks.